I think what worked with Robert and I was 1) starting out epistolary and 2) the first day he was in town to visit me (when we first met in person) we had Indian food and that night I had to take a massive dump and I told him I had to "handle some business" and was in the bathroom for ~awhile~ and he thought it was a good sign I didn't mind taking a shit basically on a first date and I thought it was great he didn't get weird about it and now "handling some business" is a little joke between us. my take away is the key is to be your true self as early as possible and then when it's with the right person they'll accept it. (the problem of course is finding the right person).
When I was younger, it bothered me that the film seems to “prove” Harry’s point that men and women can’t be friends. I was someone who had a lot of women friends and people would often cite this film to me as a means of “debunking” those friendships, which annoyed me.
However, I think the film actually proves Harry wrong, in that it shows that true love requires friendship first or rather than you genuinely care about the other person. Harry talks about how he doesn’t have to “lie” or “pretend” around Sally. He’s clearly *falling in love* at that point but he doesn’t recognize it as such because he’s convinced that true love is painful and an exercise in sustained artifice.
Thank you for reading! And I love this additional perspective - I totally agree that it's not so much about best friends falling in love as it's people who like each other first learning to love each other second, they just don't really know it yet. That's why I think it's kind of the platonic ideal romance. The attraction is there and acknowledged, there is a kiss, there are some obvious shades of jealousy when they both date other people, but it's still a relationship grounded on friendship as a principle. Love it.
I think what worked with Robert and I was 1) starting out epistolary and 2) the first day he was in town to visit me (when we first met in person) we had Indian food and that night I had to take a massive dump and I told him I had to "handle some business" and was in the bathroom for ~awhile~ and he thought it was a good sign I didn't mind taking a shit basically on a first date and I thought it was great he didn't get weird about it and now "handling some business" is a little joke between us. my take away is the key is to be your true self as early as possible and then when it's with the right person they'll accept it. (the problem of course is finding the right person).
You’re so right and this is such a cute first date story 😂 I think when you’re just you then the friendship thing comes naturally too.
Great essay about one of my favorite films.
When I was younger, it bothered me that the film seems to “prove” Harry’s point that men and women can’t be friends. I was someone who had a lot of women friends and people would often cite this film to me as a means of “debunking” those friendships, which annoyed me.
However, I think the film actually proves Harry wrong, in that it shows that true love requires friendship first or rather than you genuinely care about the other person. Harry talks about how he doesn’t have to “lie” or “pretend” around Sally. He’s clearly *falling in love* at that point but he doesn’t recognize it as such because he’s convinced that true love is painful and an exercise in sustained artifice.
Thank you for reading! And I love this additional perspective - I totally agree that it's not so much about best friends falling in love as it's people who like each other first learning to love each other second, they just don't really know it yet. That's why I think it's kind of the platonic ideal romance. The attraction is there and acknowledged, there is a kiss, there are some obvious shades of jealousy when they both date other people, but it's still a relationship grounded on friendship as a principle. Love it.